Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
