Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
