Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
