went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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