Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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