Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
