: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Randomize
