I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize