Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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