At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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