Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
