I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Such a big mess for such a small penis
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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