Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
This house was built for laser tag.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
