I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
only you would photoshop your dick
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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