so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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