so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
