So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
