Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
i out mim tonsoeep
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