As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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