you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
