is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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