haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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