I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
