My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
