I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
