I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
