there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
We are all done wearing pants today
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
