did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
