Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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