I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
My ATM looks so different sober.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
