then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
The beer is more important than you right now.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
