somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
