It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Still dying that you shit outside
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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