how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I could make wine with my vomit
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
