would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
