We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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