that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
