I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize
