my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
