I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
