Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
