420 ftw
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
