it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
