You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
