at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize