Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
