You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
