Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
