It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Still dying that you shit outside
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
