So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
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