I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize