I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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