I am puke
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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