I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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