There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
