Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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