If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
