..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
we should paint friendship bongs
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