You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
