he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I think people are normalizing furries
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
