Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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