That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
