Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
