She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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